


the dark before the dawn

by komet



Series: sad setauket kids [2]
Category: Turn (TV 2014)
Genre: ben has regrets, this can go w my other fic ig
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 15:08:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11382714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/komet/pseuds/komet
Summary: ben reflects on his mistakes.





	the dark before the dawn

**Author's Note:**

> hey this is short but i didn't get to write enough of what's going on in ben's head in 'a little bit stronger' so here's this literally 10 minute drabble
> 
> title from a breaking benjamin song  
> isn't that a great coincidence

Ben regrets things he knows that he can't change, but wishes he could have before they had happened. It's a cumbersome process, and one that tires him considerably. But how can he not blame himself? He should have taken more precautions than he had. He knows this. He just can't reconcile it.

To fix the unfixable is a task that he takes wholly onto himself, bearing all of the regret and blame and fear.

He should have been more strict with the matter of Caleb's safety. Ben always did insist that he be careful, and the whaler had always laughed it off and promised he would. Ben has failed there.

He should have been more careful with the prisoner exchange. Should have _expected_  a trap, should have been ready for something to go wrong. He hadn't been diligent enough, and Judge Woodhull had taken a bullet through the skull because of it. Ben has failed there.

Even the sky seems to taunt him for his misgivings, for the stars were dim and few tonight, leaving only the moon's imposing stare as the major paces the camp. He's restless. How can he sleep, knowing that another grave is to be dug because of his mistake? How can he sleep when his closest friend is lying bruised and bloodied not twenty feet from him?

He wishes and hopes and maybe prays for— _something._ He doesn't know what. Forgiveness, maybe. His thoughts are jumbled but all echo the same thing; Ben has failed and his friends have payed for it.

Regret pushes over him like a bleeding wound, dripping slowly yet unmistakably as he is left alone with his remorse.


End file.
